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Family Violence

I was raised with a violence father.  It happened almost every day.  My mother tried to stop it but could not.  He would get drunk and come home to beat one of us or both. He was very mean.  The  police would not do anything to him. He got away with everything he did. No matter how bad it was. I would often think I would never make it.

His temper was always in his way.  He would start fights with everyone.  No one was safe around him.  He put holes in the walls.  Put needles in my arms when I was only two or three to see me cry.  Never said a kind word to me or my mother.  Unless he was not drinking.  Which was hardly ever.

He was in the Army when I was born.  When he got back. He made it clear he did not want me or love me.  When I was three he made me ride a bull.  I am lucky I did not get killed.  My mother was so scared.  Then my mother had my sister and she was sick.  She died in my arms while I was rocking her.  He kept saying why did you live instead of her.  I did not know what it meant.  My mother just cried.  We stayed out of his way as much as we could.

He never wanted to take us any where.  We never did anything together as a family.  Never had friends to come and visit. They was to scared.  He never wanted to buy us anything.  Did not pay the rent most of the time.  We had to move so much.  How I stayed in school I do not know.  But I did and still made good grades.  He would not buy my school clothes unless he had to. So when I turned Twelve.  I got a job babysitting.  The lady would pay me so I could buy what I needed.

He found out about it and made me give him the money so he could drink.  So when I told the lady she got so mad.  That she took me out and started buying my clothes and what I needed.  Never gave me money again. Well that made my dad so mad that he made me quit.

As I got older he got worse.  He would not let me go anywhere.  I could not have no friends.  I was alone except for my mother.  We would cry for days on end.  We moved so much,  I did not know where we would be from one minute to the next.

I could not go to school dances, plays, or anything.  But I had to get good grades.  Or he would beat me.  I got to the point where I did not trust anyone.  It was getting me down.  But for my mother I acted happy.  My mother let me go to a school dance just once but when my dad found out.  He came to the school and beat a guy for talking to me.

When I was sixteen I got a place of my own with my mother.  I was going to school and working.  I paid the bills and still got good grades and kept the place clean.  My mother had never worked and did not know how to pay bills.  Because her mother died at her birth.  Her father was a drunk and beat on her to.

When I got old enough to date. I did not trust guys.  So I always made excuses of why I would not go out.  I got hurt a lot and I hurt guys also.  I made up my mind that no man would ever hit me and get away with it. I kept my word.

When I finally did get married.  I told my husband if you ever hit me.  You will be sorry.  I will not let you or anyone hit me.  He never tried.  But he did run around on me.  I left him and never looked back.  I got married again after some time but he left for his job and was never seen again.

I never got married again. Then I met a wonderful man . That is so good to me. I will love him forever.  But it took me a while to trust men until I met him.  So men that beat their wives and children.  Don't deserve to live.  If you want to beat someone,  Get a man so he can beat you also.
I feel that if a man beats his wife the wife should be able to beat him just as bad.  To many men get away with anything they want to do.  If you can't get along then leave.

Also men who rape women and children. Why should they be allowed to live?  The kids will never
be the same.  Some will never be able to have children.  Why rape a child when they are not old enough to know what is going on.  No woman or child deserves to be raped or beat on.

I would love to have one day alone with a man who does this.  He would wish he had never seen that woman or child.  That is not a man he is nothing but dirt.  The scum of the earth.  He should have his manhood and balls cut off. He should be made to eat them.  He should be raped over and over. Or beat. See how he likes it.

Now I will tell you about China.  She has been going through the same thing.  She met a guy that she thought she could trust.  Big mistake.  She married him and did not listen when people told her not to.
This is a true story about myself Angel and China.  China is not her real name.

This is a beautiful young lady.  Her husband has gotten out of control.  He drinks and he does beat and abuse her.  For a while he was pretty good to her.  Then he started to change.  He hit her in the head several times and gave her black eyes.  Which she can barely open.  He has beat her so bad this time that she may never be the same.  She has Lupus really bad.  She is not allowed to get her medicine.  She is not allowed to eat. She does not remember when she ate last.  He watches every move she makes.  He does not want her talking to anyone.

He moved her into his sister's house. His sister beat her also and this has been going on for a while. She is scared for herself and her four children.  He wants her to have babies all the time.  She has had three strokes and the doctor's does not know why.She has had enough and is trying to get away.  But she is scared if she does leave. That he will find her and kill her. I know he would.  This guy is mean.

But she has made up her mind.  She has to leave.  She is tired of having babies, no food, no medicine,  For him to call her names and him and his sister beat her.  She won't take it anymore.  She has blacked out several times.  She will call for help!

She is tired of the controlling behavior.  As well as the abuse.  He listens every time she is on the phone.  He does not want anyone around her.  He knows everything she does.  The worse thing is she was scared to tell anyone but no more.

She has used her head and not said she was leaving.  It was going to be hard to leave with him and his sister watching her every move.  China has a lot to do too make sure if possible that he will never find her.

China never thought she would live in violence and unpredictability.  Never thought her husband would ever hit her or beat her.  She now feels anger and fear.

No matter what happens she knows she does not deserve this.  Do not let fear take you over.  It is not your fault.  You can't let yourself be angry and bitter for the rest of your life.  Tell someone.  Call or do something before it is too late.  You are the Victim.

There is a pattern to family violence.  It is used to control and have power over you.  It includes threats and violence.  It can happen to anyone at any time.  It is caused by the abuser or perpetrator.
Most of the time it happens between 6 pm and 6 am.  Mostly at home.  It causes homelessness sometimes.  It is a good risk for women from 18 to 34.  Through physical assault and rape.

Also happens to children.  From abuse and neglect.  There are health problems.  Sick a lot, headaches, stomachaches, tired, etc:

Effects:  depression, sleep, anxiety, flashbacks, and emotional distress.  Also brings on heart disease and gastrointestinal disorders.  Most are isolated and have very few if any social or financial resources.

If they do not get help girls will be vulnerable to abuse as teens and adults.  Boys more then likely will become abusers.

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